Autumn Intentions

Autumn the season of change

Autumn, the season that falls between the September equinox and the Winter solstice, is my absolute favourite time of year. There are the stunning colours of the leaves on the trees and berries in hedgerows, the smells of the brisk air, bonfires, crispy leaves and even that distinctive wet shake smell from the dogs! There’s pumpkin spice lattes and hot, thick soups.

But Autumn also has a more spiritual importance, which resonates with me on a deeper level. At its most basic, the message that Autumn brings is the reminder that seasons change and so do we. The metaphor of the leaves falling from the trees and decomposing into the forest floor, providing the essential nutrients for the next year's growth is a reminder to us that nature’s cycles are mirrored in our lives – that Autumn is a time for letting go, releasing those things which do not serve us, and gaining awareness as we go. When we acknowledge the impermanence of all things in nature, as the fallen leaves are no longer part of our present, we can better appreciate the beauty around us and are inspired to live every day to the fullest.

Taking time during this season to thoughtfully reflect on the past gives us the opportunity to re-evaluate our values and our goals or ambitions, as well as the chance to resolve and release what no longer serves us, giving us greater self-awareness and a new understanding of how we can live more authentic lives.

This sounds like quite the challenge, right? Let’s break it down.

A mindfully experienced Autumn

Mindfulness is about living in the present moment, being fully engaged in what we are doing, free from distraction or judgement, being aware of our thoughts and feelings but not getting caught up in them. There are many recognised health and wellbeing benefits of practicing mindfulness and many ways we can immerse ourselves in the spirit of Autumn and experience it in a mindful way, helping us to get in the right mindset. Being thoughtful and deliberate in the way we go about life is at the heart of mindfulness - it is something I try to practice regularly myself and encourage my clients to try too.

Here are some ideas:

Go for a walk in nature, taking the time to engage all your senses – what can you observe, what can you feel through touch, what scents are in the air, what sounds do you hear and what can you taste (obviously be careful here!)?
Collect different types of fallen leaves and observe the different shapes, colours, sizes, and smells. How about collecting other fallen debris, like acorns, conkers, and pinecones?
If you’re feeling arty why not sketch or paint the different things you have collected?
Autumn is a perfect time to look for fungi – how many different types can you find?
Carve a pumpkin!
Write a poem.

Can you think of any others? I’d love to know what you come up with – you can use the comment box below.

What are intentions?

Well, they’re a bit like goals, but with less pressure to achieve a specific measurable thing in a defined timeframe. You could call them a ‘guiding principle’ or maybe a ‘direction of travel’. Setting goals is about achieving a specific thing in the future, with the focus on the destination (the gold medal, the weight loss target, the promotion) whereas intention setting is more about the purpose of the act and the journey towards the destination, where we are motivated to enjoy the process.

Examples of the difference between a goal and intention might be:

Goal: I will gain a promotion by the end of the year.

Intention: I intend to work hard to develop my skills and have a career I enjoy and which challenges me and which is balanced with my homelife.

Goal: I want to lose 10lbs.

Intention: I intend to live a healthy and well-balanced lifestyle.

Like the seasonal changes around us, there is a cycle inherent in the practice of intention setting, where once intentions are set, they are periodically reviewed and renewed.

Time to reflect

Setting aside some time to consciously reflect on our lives and our values is the first step to bringing about intentional changes. Here are some ideas on how to get started on this process. You may find a journal helpful to keep track of your thoughts and your progress.

What have been the key events in my life this year?
What am I grateful for?
What have I learnt this year?
How have a contributed to the success of others?
How have I grown?
How has my past contributed to my present?
What unfinished business do I have?
How can I resolve situations to bring about closure?
What am I ready to release and let go of?
What is most important to me?

As you consider these, think about what you might want to welcome into your life in the year and the years ahead.

Setting intentions

The practice of setting intentions can be a powerfully positive one. So, what are some of the benefits of setting intentions?

Intentions are set in alignment with what we value most in life (e.g., family, relationships, career, travel, spirituality) and so it is an opportunity to consciously reflect on life and how we are living in relation to our values and goals. Reflecting on your values will bring clarity, bringing you closer to defining your needs and wants.
Helps us to create new habits where our thoughts and actions are directed towards creating our future reality.
They focus on the positive and the things that matter in life, rather than the negative, or the things that do not matter.
They present as a statement of the lifestyle we wish to live and the goals we wish to achieve.
Setting intentions helps us to gain clarity about what is important to us and the direction we are taking, so we are consciously making decisions where we are acting in a more authentic way.
Helps us to develop a greater sense of self-awareness and an understanding of what is happening in our day to day and what is driving it.
The process helps to motivate us to make lasting change and sparks hope for the future.
Setting intentions helps to inform the process of setting specific goals. There’s lots to say about the value of goal-setting too, but that will have to be parked for another day.

You want real change?

Intention setting is a valuable tool that I use with my clients who struggle with motivation and consistency when it comes to manifesting change.

The truth is that if you want real change, you must be committed to the process. As my clients know, I’m here to deliver the hard truths: the change you want won’t be served to you on a silver platter. You need to work for it if you want it. When the universe feels like it’s conspiring against you and setting you off course, it is only you who can get yourself back on track.

Here are some of the barriers we might come up against:

Self-sabotage
Self-esteem
Problems with commitment
Lack of motivation
Not understanding your values
Limiting self-beliefs
Having unrealistic expectations.

When should you set your intentions?

Personally, I prefer to set my intentions for the year in the Autumn when my energy is at its highest. But my simple answer is whenever works best for your lifestyle and the kind of changes you are looking to make.

Maybe you want to follow the lunar cycle, where every four weeks a new moon brings us energies aligned with intention setting, and each full moon an opportunity to reflect and review on your progress (if this interests you, please do take a look at Sarah Cornforth’s blog where you’ll find loads of useful and inspiring information)
Yearly, seasonally, monthly, weekly or daily – at morning or at night.
Whenever you feel like you need a boost!

Other good practice tips:

When you’re reflecting on or setting your intentions, find a quiet spot away from distractions. For me, a nice cup of tea is always welcome!
Put pen to paper – doing this will help to connect your mind and body, which in turn reinforces our intentions.
Keep it simple and consistent. Don’t overwhelm yourself by setting ten intentions right off the bat. Start with one or two, you can build up over time if you wish. New habits will soon be formed.
Don’t set intentions for the sake of it – consider if something is the best use of your time right now.
Equally, keep things positive and filled with joy. Don’t waste your time on an intention that doesn’t take you on a positive journey towards the life you want to live.
Think about what will keep you motivated to stay on track. Do you need a reward? A deadline? Or is simply moving in the right direction motivation and reward enough?
Is your intention attainable? Again, don’t set intentions that are unattainable or set too high, you will likely feel demotivated and lose faith in the process.
Don’t forget to revisit your intentions regularly. Let go of any that no longer serve your purpose. Remember, it’s natural that what is important to us will change, as we change and grow over time.

Freebies!

Thank you for sticking with me through this, I really hope it resonates and that it will help you in a practical way to make those changes you are seeking in your life. I’d love to hear from you if you have read this post and found it useful – use the comment section below or the links to my socials.

As a thank you, I’ve prepared two free downloads for you which I hope will help you in a practical way:

Autumn blessings, Liz

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Using social media in a more healthy way

By AM91934 • 03 Feb, 2023

Do you have a healthy relationship with social media? Ask yourself the following questions Are the posts I’m seeing making me happy? Do the accounts I follow make me feel like I need to be someone else? Am I being bullied or trolled? Am I comparing myself/ my body/ my success/ my wealth with others on social media? Is the way I’m using social media affecting my mental health? Am I spending more time on social media than with real-life friends and family? Am I constantly checking for social media updates even when in the company of real-life friends and family? Then it might be time to examine your online habits and find a healthier balance for a happier life both on and offline. The problem with social media Human beings are social creatures who need bonds with each other to thrive. We use it for fun, for information, and it can be a wonderful creative outlet. We use it to connect with people in different ways – online dating can lead to long lasting and meaningful real-life relationships and people can find solace within certain online communities such as LGBTQ+ or religious groups, helping them to feel less lonely. However, social media should never replace real-life connections. Perhaps somewhat ironically, excessive use of the very technology that is designed to connect people has been linked to loneliness, depression, anxiety, and low self-esteem. But social media is addictive , and it is designed to be habit forming, to keep you online checking for updates. It’s how they make their money. The sense of reward you get from revealing the next post bearing previously unknown information or a like or comment is like that of using a slot machine. The body actually releases dopamine, the chemical linked to pleasure and reward, leading to us craving more of the social media offer. We have such easy access to social media – PCs, laptops, tablets, phones, TVs, smart watches – we can tune in to it from pretty much wherever we are, so temptation to check in is all around. And this temptation can lead to problems with impulse control, levels of concentration, and it can disturb your sleep. Our expectations of the interactions we will achieve from our use of social media often are not met. It might be that a photo we posted didn’t get the number of likes we had hoped for – this might make us feel disappointed and invalidated. Comparing our own lives to our perception of others from social media can also cause disappointment, affect our self-esteem, and even cause anxiety. We judge ourselves in comparison to others. Even when we know that photos have been filtered, scrolling through a constant stream of perfectly airbrushed images can make us feel like it’s impossible to live up to societal beauty standards. Similarly, we know that people only share the (often staged) highlights of their lives and rarely the lowlights, but we still feel envious of their relative success and dissatisfaction with our own lives. Social media feeds our need for social validation, and we have a real Feel Of Missing Out (FOMO) when we aren’t regularly checking in or when we do check in and see the exciting things our social media connections are posting about, which makes us feel like other people are having a better time than us, are happier than us. Seeing constant images of people always seemingly having fun can make us feel like we’re missing out. Heavy use of social media might be masking more serious mental health problems such as stress or depression. Using social media to distract you from feeling low or lonely may mean that you are trying to avoid more unpleasant feelings or trying to self-soothe. A self-fulfilling prophecy: 1. We increase our use of social media when we’re feeling lonely, depressed, anxious or stressed to relieve boredom and to feel more connected. 2. The increased usage makes us feel inadequate, isolated and we experience FOMO. 3. These feelings make our symptoms of low mood, stress, and depression worse. 4. We use social media even more to relieve the boredom and to feel more connected, and so the cycle continues. So, we can see that social media can lead to us having both positive and negative experiences . There are no set rules about how many hours we should spend on social media or how often we should check for updates, after all, every one of us is different and our motivations for using social media will be different too. The key to achieving a healthier relationship with social media is about the way in which we choose to use social media and the impact it has on our mood and other aspects of our lives, like sleep. Here are some tips on how to create new habits to use social media in a healthier way: Consider whether you might need a total break or detox from social media – maybe try it for a month and commit to spending time focusing on your real-life relationships and self-care and then see how you feel about things. If deleting all social media feels a bit extreme, maybe try deleting just one app to begin with. You may feel like a total detox isn’t necessary, but still want to reduce your time on social media. Use the tools available to you within the technology to set screen time limits. You could use an app to track the amount of time you are spending on social media and then set a goal to reduce that amount. You could also try blocking out time in your diary specifically for when you will check your online accounts and not stray outside of those times. Try deleting social media apps from your phone so you have to log on to your laptop or PC to access them. Turn your phone off at certain times to remove temptation, such as when you are spending time with your children, in a meeting or having dinner. Don’t take your phone to the bathroom or to bed! Disable social media notifications so you are not constantly interrupted by beeping and buzzing, which will help remove temptation and to regain control over the use of your time. Consider making a positive plan for how you will fill your time so that you are not wasting away the hours on social media. Schedule time for exercise and other self-care activities. Take a proactive approach to improving your real-life connections and relationships and make opportunities to meet people face to face rather than online when you can. Go through the list of people, organisations, and businesses you follow and make sure they are ones who fill you with joy and who inspire you. Unfollow those who don't. Try to see filters as something that are fun to use but are not something that you need to emulate. If you are still feeling depressed or anxious, contact your GP to discuss an appropriate course of action for yourself. Do you have any top tips to share about how we can have a healthier relationship with social media? If so, I'd love to see them in the comments below. Liz 😊